The 9 secrets of emoji SEO

Have you ever tried looking at the emoji? Exactly. you can’t! You just can’t.

Because It’s too easy to even try, you either do or do not look at it. (Sorry, Yoda, but that old ex-wing mantra is really an Internet term that you reappropriated from something that is best left unsaid except for emojis.)

Here is what I mean. (It is what they all mean.) :

The top 9 secrets of emoji SEO

  1. Emoji are actually compacted from larger bits of information. These byte-sized pieces converge to form images, but very small. This makes them more emotional and visibly dense than a word, which is why they are so much more powerful.
  2. Beware of emoji-stuffing. Not only does it harm you in Google, but it also warns e-mail of spam.
  3. Focus on the emoji with the most search traffic. You can copy-to-paste it in a web tool to gauge monthly search volume and choose the one with the most numbers.
  4. Try a long-tail emoji. This is not a pun for iguana imogi, it is about longer, more specific emoji that people who are closer to the bottom of the funnel search for. So instead of a “dog” emoji, try “dog food for golden retriever” emoji.
  5. Put target emojis in your <title> tags. This is also appropriate for the h1 (as is ranking for every keyword, so you can also rank for any emoji)
  6. Buy this book and apply teachings to an emoji
  7. Appeal to Twitter to create a #BeatlesOnSpotify emoji for your own brand. You can get your own #BeatlesOnSpotify emoji featuring you brand, too!
  8. Ask an otter to do tricks in front of a lens. Hook that lens up to a camera to capture the gif, which becomes..wait for it! MOTION EMOJI!
  9. Remember to get emoji backlinks by wedging them between <a href> tags and putting a link to your site inside.

Have you ever done these? You do now!

Thanksgiving SEO leftovers

Did you know that on Thanksgiving there are some SEO advantages that, unless you are aware of them, can pass you by entirely? Don’t let this happen to you.turkey thanksgiving seo

The fact of the matter is this; while everyone is 1) building a feast and 2) beholding sport, there is a massive SEO goldmine that some savvy marketers also tap into from November to November. It is Thanksgiving SEO, and the searches always, always go up.

Open Twitter on the day, and you will see the trend on your computer or touchscreen gadget.

See what we mean?

Now, you know about Thanksgiving meal leftovers? They are the food that doesn’t make it to the stomach on the main dining day session. But whatabout SEO leftovers? Those are good, too.

Consider this: so many people search for “Thanksgiving” and then turn around for “Black Friday”—what about all those leftover searches that don’t make it to Google’s shiny chrome gullet?

They can be yours.

Ever year administer one Thanksgiving SEO content to sop up those leftover SEO particles like a gravy in biscuit fibers. Yum! You can also take advantage of this blue Thanksgiving ocean theory because while everyone is trying to get Black Friday SEO, your plate can be filled with slightly less fresh but still tantalizing Thanksgiving leftover SEO.

What do you see?

Instead of long lines for the Xbox of Black Friday SEO, you can attract yourslef to the front of the line like a magnet by “skating away from the puck, breaking the ice, and harvesting a handsome winter trout.”

Try it before it is too late. You still have hours to begin and do not forget next year. (Watch for this to be posted on Facebook.)

Read more about the top social networks here.

Octapus SEO facts

Remember that when you are a blogger you must never settle. This is why Best Google SEO Helper and the friendly sea creatures look up to the ambitious squids. Do you know how they made it to the top? By trying? Or by prevailing? 

Now you know.

Here are 10 facts about Octapus SEO:

  1. Every post is a squid. Your post connotes a swollen head and a fin on top of it for navigating the web. This is where we get the term “header nav” or “nav bar,” because of it.
  2. Every share is a tentacle. No matter where you are, a share goes in another direction. Kraken once ruled the seas because their tentacles went in enough directions to get the power.
  3. Every Like is a suction cup. You need these for picking things up.
  4. Every SEO is a mollusk. Your SEO traffic is not just a pearl, but the journey of getting there. Do not miss the pearls of the sea for lack of shells because it is perception.
  5. You need to have good eyes. Ultraviolet light is the most powerfurl of the violet lights, but it is most dangerous too. Invest in better eyesight.
  6. You cannot have a garden without sand. Sand is the spirit of the comment, which you nee many of. Some sand is better than other sand and like with comments, all sand is useful for different purposes. Will you turn comments into glass? to stick to paper for a vigourus wood rub? How about a time glass? the possibilities.
  7. Arms can grow back if you believe in yourself.
  8. Beware the anti-viral harpoons. Long-living harpoon algorithyms will pierce you from time to harry time, but only your will and regeneration will overcome them to achieve viral SEO. Do not forget the schemes of the sea baroness: she may look favorably if you an deflect some harpoons from her to get a coveted backlink.
  9. Always choose a backlink. Random backlinks are less valuable than particular ones. Do not be distracted by the ink of the link.
  10. Cuttlefish are like LinkedIn. They do not need to be as long as other squids because the platform was made for smaller content. You do not need to push a squid into a space with a smaller room.

That is how.

2 reasons we cannot trust Avast antivirus (and neither should you)

One of our sage analysts was just minding his own business one afternoon when a woman of unknown income levels demanded that he answer a question: “Do you trust Avast?”

He answered with a cool, confident, “Never. And Neither Should You, Madam.”

This happens every day.

Why? Because when a free antivirus software is romping about the internets, people talk. They ask questions, but they don’t stop there: they want answers to go with them. Do you know why people want answers? It is because of the same reason people desire milk with cookies: they go together.

Why you cannot trust Avast, reason #1

Firstly, number one: you already know how valuable it is to go viral with viral marketing, yes? (If not, read this.) Now, the root word of “viral” is “virus” and Avast is ANTI-virus! “Anti” is a greek word prefix (goes at the beginning of words) to mean “against or instead of”.

What sane marketer would ever trust Avast? they are against everything you stand for so do not turst them.

Why you must not trust Avast, reason #2

In addition to trying to laundry hamper your own viral success they are admittedly trying to persecute your software friends. In particular, the Best Google SEO Helper Chrome Plugin!

Look what happens on a computer:

best_google_seo_helper_avast

It is disgraceful as it is profuse and abrasive. Do not trust Avast because they want you to remove us from your computer world and that is wrong.

 

thx / much love,

Best Google SEO Helper team

Finally: an SEO Chrome extension that takes our knowledge to you!

Finally: an SEO Chrome extension that takes our knowledge to you!

You remember the first time you wondered if you had good RT and strong Klout? Of course you did. We all do. But that is not what makes us special: it’s merely what makes us human. We become special not by asking ubiquitous SEO and amorous link questions, but by answering them.

This time we need more than a clever blog article. We need more than a knowledge-dipped blow dart. We need a tool of the finest kind, a tool so forged that George Washington would say, “Hello there.” (George Washington was a very busy man who normally nodded whenever he saw someone he knew, but did not often speak. He was tongue-tied and busy with freedom.)

“The internet is filled with petty Chrome extensions that can never give you what you need: strong Klout and good RT”

logo128x128The internet is filled with petty Chrome extensions that can never give you what you need: strong Klout and good RT. But that is all changing this very minute (for the writer of this blog post is writing this at the same time our high-end developers code the very thing I describe).

We made a Chrome extension to tell two things:

  1. Do you have strong Klout and good RT?
  2. How can you?

What if you didn’t have this? Well, until you read this, you don’t. This is such a sad fact of the past world and we could not go any further without stopping everything to build this Chrome extension for your SEO and link needs.

How to acquire the Best Google SEO Helper Chrome extension

Just click the link and, in the Chrome store, click the “Free” button. This tells the computer that you admire this Chrome extension for on-page SEO. Gratuitously, your computer fetches our obtuse files and plays them on your hard drive. This is very similar to watching a movie, or playing a game of hide-and-seek, except that it happens very quickly—at least instantly.

Just click the button for a knowledge upgrade. Incredible!

Why we crafted the Best Google SEO Helper Chrome extension

We know that you have encountered many people in this world of SEO and they tell you SEO is hard work. NOT SO. SEO is about working more intelligently and not getting bogged down by whatever happens to come to mind. (Remember, it’s about RT, not FAV.)

So many people and businesses ask us if their RT is good and their Klout strong. We don’t know off the bat because we do not own their websites or Google their analytics. It’s illegal. So we got tired of telling people we could not help them without further information. We cannot emotionally tolerate letting a customer down. It’s not in our nature.

So we made a Chrome extension instead.

This is us just taking the juicy knowledge in our minds and downfiling it to the Internet: it lives in your plugin bar. That’s right: all of our team’s considerable wisdom is crammed and condensed into a 19px by 19 px box for you to absorb.

Simply click the Chrome extension and you will immediately know if the page you are viewing has strong Klout and good RT. If you do not know, please uninstall and reinstall because your computer may be bad.

This is knowledge in the 21st century. The software century. It is here to stay and so are we.

Download this amazing thing now.

Free Ebook is finally here!

Free Ebook is finally here!

You have never read an ebook like this.*

We promise you that this ebook is amazing. We have taken our amazing blog advice and reorganized it for viewing pleasure in your bed or favorite chair. That’s right. We made an ebook just as engorged with plump tips as the blog!

We call it Free Ebook: and other tips for mastering SEO and internet marketing for the common man. You can buy your copy of Free Ebook on Amazon for just $9.99!

Are you afraid of internet marketing? Social media? SEO? Never fear! Best Google SEO Helper is your friend and not only on the Internet (oh, no!) but also on your Kindle and other mobile reading device.

You may be wondering if you can purchase this book in print. NO. you must not print this ebook for a few mellow reasons (which are quite stern in flavour).

  1. It is an ebook and must be electronic
  2. If we printed this it would encourage lack of technological literacy
  3. Shipping costs

You never knew that we were making an ebook, which is why this is such a surprise. But the surprises do not stop there! More surprises include that this $9.99 ebook is named Free Ebook (A very benefit first title, which is a valuable copywriting tip for you). Another surprise is that this book has new content never before seen on this blog, and even some part 2 reminders for slower learners.

So now it is time to acquire. Buy Free Ebook for just $9.99 dollars right now!

 

*[satirical advice. ebook not actually free.]

RT vs. FAV: which is better?

In the world of Twitter for small and enterprise businesses, there are many metrics of note. You can look at how many followers you have. You can examine the amount of people/members you are following. You can even create intricate lists.  But there are more metrics.

One is what you must always reach for and contain in your grasp. The other will only rob you of every effort you ever made.

The question: RT or FAV?

Have you ever vexed like a barren hen at this question? We have. But then  we discovered the answer and tension has yielded more than 40k Web  yolks a week ever since.

The answer?

RT > FAV

But remember: we are here to help, which means there’s an explanation coming up. It’s time for a memorable list of truths surrounding this.

  • RT gives you reach. FAV is a leech.
  • RT builds Klout. FAV sustains doubt.
  • RT increases. FAV decreases.
  • RT confronts problems. FAV complies with problems.
  • RT boosts growthhacking. FAV hacks your growth down.
  • RT will impress shapely humans. FAV tells everyone to pity you.
  • RT takes responsibility for its actions. FAV blames everybody else.
  • RT will give your daughter a sack of self-rising flour. FAV just wants to deflower your daughter.

You need to know this, because without good RT you will never succeed. You need strong Klout and good RT.

Not FAV.

[ Infographic ] The comprehensive guide to marketing launch strategy

[ Infographic ] The comprehensive guide to marketing launch strategy

The top 160 elements your marketing launch strategy needs

Have you ever wondered if there was more to life than a pleasant click? We all do, and it is indeed wildly blissful. But it is not everything.

Here are 160 more good things for your marketing strategy.

  1. Social media
  2. Images
  3. Free coffee
  4. Headlines
  5. Engagement
  6. Exclamation points
  7. Online money
  8. Revenue
  9. Success
  10. Bolded H1
  11. Keywords
  12. Open rates
  13. ROI
  14. Happiness
  15. Helpful tips
  16. Content
  17. Videos
  18. Optimization
  19. Versions
  20. Marketing terms
  21. Pop-ups
  22. Autoplaying background music
  23. Spreadsheets
  24. Formulas
  25. Downloads
  26. Results
  27. Whiteboard
  28. Ratings and reviews
  29. Diversity
  30. Hard work
  31. $1 million likes
  32. Mature backlinks
  33. YouTube clips
  34. Massive clicks
  35. Web yolk
  36. Animal instinct
  37. Teamwork
  38. Leadership
  39. Logos
  40. Confidence
  41. Tagline
  42. QR codes
  43. Promotional discounts
  44. Introductory special
  45. Phone-only discounts
  46. Bundle
  47. Survey
  48. Survey results
  49. The cloud
  50. Software
  51. Google
  52. Mobile devices
  53. Technology
  54. Market fit
  55. Reach
  56. Targeting
  57. Copywriting
  58. Conservation
  59. Power
  60. Pizza parties
  61. Celebrity
  62. Big sales
  63. Theme songs (you may substitute a jingle)
  64. Desk (standing.)
  65. Company car
  66. Tropical fish tank
  67. Expenses
  68. Cigars
  69. Ping-pong table
  70. Sanity checks
  71. Flasks
  72. Project management
  73. Oversight
  74. QC
  75. Operations
  76. Kinetic sand
  77. Triage
  78. Meetings
  79. Timeframes
  80. Goals
  81. Free soda
  82. Animated gifs
  83. Cat video
  84. Counterarguments
  85. Weekly reports
  86. Performance reviews
  87. Checklist
  88. Holidays
  89. Paper shredder
  90. Picnic
  91. Hootsweet
  92. Culture
  93. Marketing mix
  94. Disruption
  95. Consultants
  96. Core values
  97. Juicy knowledge
  98. Wikipedia scrape
  99. Automation
  100. Big data
  101. Good ideas
  102. Brainstorms
  103. Blog
  104. Emails
  105. Hashtag
  106. Designers
  107. Morals
  108. Curation
  109. Linked billboards
  110. Google analytics
  111. Bitly
  112. UTM code
  113. Hack
  114. Tribe
  115. Hustle
  116. List
  117. CRM
  118. HubSpot
  119. Platform
  120. Infusionsoft
  121. Buzzwords
  122. Email capture
  123. All caps
  124. Opt ins
  125. Accounts
  126. Product name
  127. Typing speed test
  128. Accomplishments
  129. Adhesive note
  130. Stapler
  131. Hydration
  132. Viral coefficient
  133. House plants
  134. Best Google SEO Helper
  135. B2B
  136. Soft launch
  137. Tease
  138. Mentions
  139. Workplace
  140. Award
  141. A/B test
  142. Flight plan
  143. Roadmaps
  144. Bar codes
  145. Efficiency
  146. Product
  147. Adoring customers
  148. Sales funnel
  149. VC
  150. Queue
  151. Personas
  152. Tables in your database
  153. Lunch
  154. Interns
  155. Paychecks
  156. Subscribe
  157. Good timing
  158. Lead nurture
  159. Triggers
  160. Communication

To help you remember these 160 important components, we’ve built you a beautiful, shareable infographic. Post this on the Facebook wall of every marketer in your life!

guide_screenshot

Here’s the embed code for you:


<a href="http://www.bestgoogleseohelper.com/the-comprehensive-guide-to-marketing-launch-strategy/"><img src="http://www.bestgoogleseohelper.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/guide_screenshot.png" alt="" /></a>


There you have it: 160 more good things you forgot about.

But that’s not all there is. NONE of this makes any sense if it does not lasso in the two most important components:

  1. Good RT
  2. Strong Klout

Never forget.

How to get retweets

Twitter for small businesses

If you’re on the Twitter, you’re there for one thing: retweets. Good RT is the cream, you’re the dairy farmer, and Twitter is the udder. Here’s how to milk it:

  1. Start every tweet with a period. Twitter is for conversations, so many of your “tweets” will naturally begin with the username, or “handle,” of whomever you’re tweeting at. But Twitter’s algorithm has decided that only people who “follow” both parties should see the “tweet”—it’ll be invisible to the rest of the world. So start every “tweet” with a period—it’ll open you up to a world of retweets and good RT.
    1. Wrong: “@mom, see you soon!” BAD RT
    2. Right: “.@mom, see you soon!” GOOD RT
    3. Wrong: “I had the best lunch today!” BAD RT
    4. Right “.I had the best lunch today!” GOOD RT
  2. End every tweet with “RT.” Twitter is beautiful in its simplicity. Yes, one key to good RT is simple: simply end every “tweet” with RT. Your “followers” will see your command, and they will obey, honoring you with retweets many and gracious.
    1. Wrong: “I’m hungry” BAD RT
    2. Right: “I’m hungry RT” GOOD RT
  3. End every tweet with “MUST RT.” If RT is compelling, MUST RT is much more so. MUST RT tells your readers that not only should they RT your content—they must.
    1. Wrong: “Hanging out on the #deck” BAD RT
    2. Right: “Hanging out on the #deck MUST RT” GOOD RT
  4. End every tweet with “RT (‘Retweet’).” Not all Twitter users know today’s technology “lingo.” You’ll speak to more readers if you use words they understand, but how do you avoid “alienating” your other readers? Just use both words.
    1. Wrong: “Honey, I miss you” BAD RT
    2. Right: “Honey, I miss you RT (‘Retweet’)” GOOD RT
  5. End every tweet with “PLZ RT.” Web 2.0 social internets are all about being social, and part of being social is being polite. You can show politeness by adding “plz,” short for “please.” When you end a “tweet” with PLZ RT, you tell your readers that you respect them enough to want their good RT, and you care about them enough to be polite in your request.
    1. Wrong: “I’m sweaty” BAD RT
    2. Right: “I’m sweaty PLZ RT” GOOD RT
  6. End every tweet with “PLZ RT (‘Please Retweet’).” See steps 4 and 5.

Now you know how to get retweets. Which technique will you use for strong Klout and good RT? “Plz” let us know in the comments!

How to Rank #1 for Every Search Term

youCouldBeFamousAt Best Google SEO Helper, we obsess over one goal: helping you rank #1 for every search term.

Your competitors may rank #1 for one or two undesirable terms. After all, anyone can rank #1 for several sentences’ worth of copy, all searched for at once—assuming theirs is the only site with that exact wording, they’ll be the #1 hit.

For one search term. Maybe for two.

You’ll be ranking #1 for every single term.

Just ask Perry D. Three weeks ago, her inbound traffic hung withered like autumn grapes. Now, her friends describe her SEO as “stout” and “engorged.” She can’t believe the difference ranking #1 makes!

Just ask Mark N. When he launched his small business, he worked and worked without even a taste of success. “America no longer needs the small business–man,” he thought. Think again, Mark. Once he started ranking #1 for every single search term, his rankings shot up overnight!

How to Rank #1 for Every Search Term

It takes only two steps:

  1. Change all your <p>, <h4>, <h3>, and <h2> text to <h1>. Just use CSS to make it the size and weight you prefer. That way, when the Google crawls your site, it’ll see nothing but h1s!
  2. Modify the alt text of every image on your website to include every English word. Best Google SEO Helper prefers Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary.
    And that’s it: two steps to swelling SEO success and #1 viral rankings.

How will you feel about your #1 rankings? Let us know in the comments!