all things voice search [a momentous article]

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Testing testing is this thing good? okay good. very special. it’s a wonderful day on the internet. we all know this to be true. anyway …

And so in honor of a recent statistic: discovered by heart special team of Internet scientists (you all know this to be true you all know this to be true) voice search will account for 50% of search in 2020.

And if voice counts for 50% of search what will you do? how will you optimize for voice search? and how will you optimize for non voice search ( which is the other 50%, divided into all kinds of sub-categories)? will you optimize for voice search? will you optimize for the future?

or will you be like Kevin B., whose stale approach to voice search has been described as crumbly and crouton-like

“If it weren’t for best Google SEO helper I would be eaten by ducks all the time,

he says. but we helped him avoid the Dreadful bills. we helped him the way we will help you. by bringing you this article and guide into all things voice search and the first thing to know about this article is the we adhere to rule number 1.

This is the first blog Post written directly from voice, spoken straight into Google and onto the page.

behold the wonders of our galaxy! the marvels of our age.

This page will be edited with punctuation for sentences but we will keep all other edits to a minimum you will see why in rule number 1 …

1: Don’t type at Google, talk to Google

there is nothing more rude than sitting in a room with someone and instead of speaking to them about something, writing them a letter. that is dumbest thing in the whole world. Why would you do that?

And yet in 2020 50% of people will still want to do that to Google they do not understand how a relationship works you don’t write letters to someone when they are in the room. If you care about them and especially. If you want them to do something about the situation (which is exactly what you want from Google— you wanted Google to change your rank to be number one for every t word) this is not going to happen if you are rude to Google you must have a relationship remember this

now close your eyes. you are in a room with Google. think of your phone. think of your computer. think of all your household items ordered over the Internet through Amazon in a Chrome browser window. does that tingle you? You and Google are impeccably clothes and then some.

like the humble Marmot, you must understand that manners are everything here!

you want to rank number one? there’s something you must do for Google. and that is nurture your relationship lovingly.

The best way to do this is to just talk to Google. Just tell Google how you feel .that is what Google cares about

because Google cares about you

so don’t type


open your phone touch the red button and


that is number one and the second floor covers what google does in return!

Rule number two

when you talk to Google, speak! Google gives you favor. Google Voice search results—just watch what happens when you speak! Google gives you an answer politely, saying friendly things to you.

it never does this at a regular typing relationship. no not at all. the good stuff comes to those who ask for it with their lips open and their throats thrusting forward their desires and thoughts straight, Straight into Google, straight into her heart. that is how it happened. that is hell

So now it’s time for number 3

always speak in a plain fashion.

remember that rank brain is pointing at, like a bottle of spinach turnips right on the horse, everything It touches. so it’s very careful what it says and what it listens to.

that’s right: so if you sound like you come from the big city, you might get spawned right into oblivion.

tell Google whatever comes to mind in the right way you say it. that’s what Google rank frame is looking for most. so talk regularly— don’t use jargon, don’t use Vietnamese noodles like Pad Thai to Fashion new letters out of them. that’s not what Google wants.

Number 4 is the last rule: always think about your brand.

you can’t spell “Brand” without “Rand”

and you can’t spell “Rand” without “and”.

and Rand and brand rhume with Aunt. this is what you call a tagline.

Google loves tagline so much it eats Oreo-flavored taglines every night with the feelings still in them!

so make sure you focus on your branding in a way that rhymes.

Google has a penchant for the attentiant!