Did you hear?
Milennials dropped the ball on this one: not only have they given up on home ownership and happiness, but they’re already beginning to hand over the reins of the population to a younger, even more screen-plastered generation: Gen Z.
Do not be fooled. This is not your grandmother’s Gen Z.
This is a Gen Z so full of Snapchat that they may collectively threaten your very existence as a website, a marketer, and indeed, your very soul. Stare into the eyes of a Gen Z some day. Can you do so?
They are too busy for you. They have a prom to text. In the last five seconds while you were skimming this article, the entire Gen Z skimmed this article and a dozen more … each.
Gen Z is a collective minefield, draped with a silvery shroud of confused mental aptitude combined with a sense of distant apathy that longs to come out in an Elizabeth Tayler film that one might see in a drive thru movie stand, but instead you discover that it is one of those many movie food trucks complete with a life size version of the movie and a pot of corn to boot. Hooray for Gen Z? That’s what they want you to think.
The trick is: don’t think about them and they won’t think about you.
It’s a trick that millennials can’t help but fall for.
REmember every time you bent over and took off your glasses at a milannial? It was a full bend, too. Back when they were four and a half years old and played with a power ranger flashlight and ate your blue pasta ribbons from a dairy thomas snack chest.
They hated it. And they hated you. They took everything they could: googleing things you could not.
But Gen Z is different. They are not like them and they are not like you. They are other.
They are from beyond, and if you are not careful, they will put you there, too. The best thing to do is ignore these monsters. They are hungry–far hungrier than their big sibling generation. We have a few blessings to count, though:
- They are distracted
- They are closer to the milennials, ergo a lot harder to be afraid of
- You still have the Best Google SEO Helper on your side!
These little flake’n’snakes cant’ stand up to a supreme Google hold. They don’t know ju jitsu like we do. They have no capacity for physical activity. But Google is becoming a voice machine like alexa.
More on that later in a perfumed announcement! The scent of news! Ah the fragrance of it! You can smell it from here!
Beware of Gen Z.