Are you an SEO CHAMP or a CHUMP? Take the quiz

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whatsMissingOnUrWebsiteWhat are you thinking right now?

That’s an easy question to answer. But you know what’s a harder question? “What is your boss thinking right now?”

Answering this is tricky. Ultimately this is a mix of keyword research and empathy but if you really come down to brass tax, there’s just one thing on every employer’s mind:

Are you an SEO CHAMP or an SEO CHUMP?

Harsh? You bet. The world of SEO is not for soft people. It is for tough people. Take for example, every soft SEO chump you have ever known.

Are they turnt? No, they are merely mellow.

Are they firm, weathered, and able to spin a 301 redirect into gold? Nope. They’re as limp and damp as the young trees in the wetlands. 

That’s a chump for you. That’s why soft marketers are called “marsh-mellow” people.

There’s a quiz you can take to see if you are one of these: an SEO chump or an SEO champ!

ALERT: to anticipate the backlash, we have had the entire team of experts thoroughly vet this document. Before you complain, be advised that this blog post as well as every other aspect of is certified to have strong Klout and good RT. Think twice before you are offended! These are just the facts.

Question 1: What time is it? (Circle one)

  1. “I have to look at a clock first”
  2. “Time to get some featured snippets!”

If you answered with (1), we are sorry but you are on the road to being a chump. Try to turn it around.

If you answered with (2), good news because that’s what an SEO champ would say.

Let’s move on to a harder one.

Question 2: Where does traffic come from? Circle one:

  1. “The roads on the internet”
  2. “True traffic comes from within”

Still curious? If you answered (1) you are surely an SEO chump by now. If you answered (2) you must have what a professor once called an inner locus of control, which is very good for SEO. It means you are a go-getter, and there’s nothing Google respects more than a go-getter.

This is because a go-getter is far more likely to create high-ranking content then a lax, pallid content writer. Go getters are ull of link juice, but passive content architects believe something very different.

Why are chumps like this?

We sat down in an interview with Kyle M.,  ratified SEO chump, to discuss what systems of belief go into being a marketing marsh mellow person. Kyle M. did not disappoint.

“It all comes down to willpower,” Kyle M. says. “I’ve never been a hard-charger because I tend to enjoy a life of luxury. But some people are just thinking about winning, winning, winning. Whew. That’s a lot of work. I would rather make a million dollars in passive income than a million dollars in active income every time. It is taxed different for one thing and for another it gives me more time to play peek-aboo with my pet snake. That is the most fulfilling thing in the world to me (and I know for a fact that all SEO chumps feel the same way about snakes).”

Very enlightinging, Kyle M.

Well, there you have it, folks.

But let’s look at the science behind this

As you know, championships are won in the mind first, body second, and environment third. TRying to do this in reverse order is a strong spam signal to the search engines.

Remember: Google spiders crawl everything. They will know if you are faking.

So remember to win the right championships in the right order, organize your keywords in a cluster, and win big like a champ.

So what will it be?

Are you a marsh mellow?

Must RT.